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 Addiction and Co-dependency
This person, called a co-dependent, may not abuse drugs or alcohol but relies emotionally on the addiction as much as the addict relies on the substance. People with co-dependency experience indirect effects of alcoholism and drug abuse.Many people with co-dependency grow up in homes where there is alcoholism or drug addiction, usually by the parents, so they think it's normal to live with someone who is abusive, neglectful and needs to be taken care of all the time. Although co-dependency is not usually considered a disease like alcoholism, co-dependency takes a high psychological toll on the co-dependent person. Co-dependency creates behavior patterns that may take months to alter and emotional wounds that may take years to heal. People with co-dependency lose their independence -- they often become more concerned about the addict's life than their own. They also tend to be perfectionistic and overly responsible. The person with co-dependency, like people who are addicted, usually don't recognize their co-dependency until a crisis occurs. The crisis may be medical, legal, social or financial -- such as serious illness, accident or loss of employment. And, the event may not involve the addict -- instead, it may be the person who is co-dependent who experiences the crisis. When the crisis occurs and the co-dependent person finds that she can no longer control the consequences of the addict's addiction, such as financial strain or the addict's violent behavior, the co-dependent person may become clinically depressed. If a person with co-dependency seeks professional help, he or she is most likely to do so following a crisis. At first, a lot of people with co-dependency believe that they cannot be helped unless the addict receives treatment. While it certainly helps if the addict is in recovery, people with co-dependency can seek treatment for themselves regardless of whether the alcoholic or drug abuser also is being treated. Treatment for co-dependency often involves group therapy - which enables the individuals to share problems and frustrations in a therapeutic and supportive environment. There is a tremendous amount of healing that takes place when people with co-dependency share their problems with others who have experienced the same thing. Over time, people with co-dependency can learn that they're not responsible for the addict's illness or the addict's recovery, that they can't make the addict stop drinking or using drugs, and that the only thing they're ultimately responsible for is their own lives. Internet ResourcesAl-Anon
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